Does your family all stride around barefoot, despite the freezing floor?
Is your wife an automoton? (she's wearing socks to cover her android toes)
Have you spawned Joe Fucking Pasquale?
Do you all want to make playing games more difficult, less fun, and feel the need to waste 25 quid on something you'll use once and never again?
Congratulations, jOG (jesus christ...) is for you. The latest pointless add-on for the Wii, jOG (man, that's sooo annoying) allows you to control your on screen movements by jogging! Yup, Wii Fit mania has finally turned the nation's shitty peripherals purveyors completely mad.
Who the fuck wants to play Madworld by running on the spot? No-one does. Not even that little shit in the jOG (AAAAAAARGH) promotional imagery. Or his slightly demented looking sister.
Wii games are already a hassle to play with their floaty imprecise controls, so why on earth would you want to remove the one part that generally worked - ie, the directional stick controlled movement - and replace it with something else imprecise and aggravating?
Surely not many of us sane gamers would. Unfortunately however, as proven by Wii Fit's incredibly tenacious grip on the top of the UK's gaming charts, there's plenty of casual gaming lunatics who like anything remotely capable of attaching to their Wii so they have an excuse to dust the bloody thing off once every three months, so I fully expect jOG (KILL KILL KILL DIE DIE DIE) to do horribly well. And then sit wretchedly unused and unloved alongside the Balance Board and the console itself until Christmas, when the advent of Wii Babyz Party Fun Dance Petz Sports-a-thon: FIT! gets the console out again so everyone can laugh at Aunt Maude falling over the couch after two sherries.
*sad face*
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