Sunday, 14 December 2008

Prince of Persia - an American Iranian on rails

Dear me. Deary deary me. What the fricking hell have they done to Prince of Persia?

The original remake (now there's a sign of the current videogame times) was a belting 3D reinvention of the classic acrobatic adventure, putting you in full control of a brooding but gymnastic Persian aristocrat. The series quickly went off the boil, with the brooding becoming full blown emo-metal angst and the shabby combat taking precedence over the sublime platforming. Meh.

The promise of a second restart for the series, using an advanced version of the Assassin's Creed engine and lovely cartoony cel shaded trickery excited many fans of the series, but I was holding back - Creed had been a bit of a let down, fantastic to look at but ultimately dull and repetitive. Even the inclusion of a virtual Kristen Bell couldn't save it.

So i held off, and picked it up yesterday for rent. I'd heard it was easy and the game held your hand to a degree, but jesus. Sweet christ, this is just a joke. I'm all for makig games accessible but the one button control system (press A to do everything *almost*)and the inclusion of Elika and her magical abilities have made this latest outing completely un-Prince of Persia. Sure you still leap and cavort across walls and girders, swinging from pillar to post and occasionally mashing buttons for some once again unsatisfactory copmbat, but it just never really feels like you're involved.

If you fall Elika saves you, if you can't make a jump Elika pushes you over, if you get injured she heals you. You tap one button to jump, hold it to run up walls, tap it again to change wall or scamper across roofs. Upside down. Yup, the Prince has decided his previous gravity defying shenanigans were too grounded in reality, so now the spritely chap can scamper across ceilings. >_<

The game even awards the first chunk of achievements simply for playing. I got about 110 points for various things such as "Starting the adventure" and "Talking to Elika". I half expected one for pressing a button or saving a game. Totally lame.

And all of this hand holding and simplified control is outweighed by the fact that the Prince and his companion are now about as Persian as the cast of High School Musical, and just as fucking annoying.

I RENTED this and I still feel hard done by. Pretty graphics really can't save this one.

Avoid people, avoid.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the headsup. If only I'd read this BEFORE I saw a telly advert saying Argos had it discounted to £20 and had run out and bought teh fucking thing. You're right, it's toss.

    I enjoyed Ass Creed though, sure it was repetitive, but all of it was enjoyable. Plus I couldn't get bored of walking up behind civilians and stabbing them in the throat. Come to think of it, my favoutite part of GTA3 was beating homeless guys with a baseball bat.

    I dare say that says more about me than either game mind...

    Give me a game where you have a chainsaw, a puppy-cannon and a nursing home and I'm happy.

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